The Skinny

Ok. Prom.

Number of Wonderful Dates: One (Satraj)
Number of Red Tuxes Worn By Said Date: None
Number of Perfectly Coordinating Best Friends: One (Erika)
Number of Pictures Taken by Parents: 3 million
Number of People who ordered the Vegetarian Lasagna: Two
Number of Times I threw up after Dinner: None
Number of Times I Shook Hands With Fancy People: Not Enough
Number of Naughty Grinds: a few more than may have been appropriate
Number of Times I Shook What My Momma Gave Me with What Kate's Momma Gave Her: At least thrice
Number of Sex Offers: Three
Number of Drug- Free Handshakes: Two (Kenny!)
Number of People Whose Buttocks I Grabbed: Uhhh....
Number of Drunk Dances With James Mahoney!: ZERO
Number of Tango Dances (To Techno Music): .3
Number of Times I ran Barefoot down to Niagara Falls in the Rain with Marcus: One Fabulous Jog
Number of Times We Heard Our Prom Song: Twice
Number of Eggs I Ate Before I Fell Asleep: Two
Number of Million Dollar Friends I Have: ONE HUNDRED!